He gets to know her over time because of mutual friends, he finds out she is really cool and they become friends, he will NEVER fall in love with her because that instant attraction wasn't there. Lets say a girl is at a party, a guy walks in, she looks up and thinks nothing of him.
She gets to know him over time because of mutual friends, she finds out he is really cool and they become friends, she WILL fall in love with him because of his personality, his charm, wit, intelligence - because of all that - attraction has grown. With that being said, you men have it much easier than we women do, women can be worn down if your are persistent and are genuine in your friendship. If you are in fact really just friends, neither of you really looking for a romantic involvement with the other, then that is another story.
But the ride always ends, and you end up feeling lonely and bitter. It used to be considered the height of Romance that a man should pursue a woman gallantly even if she repeatedly rebuffed him.
Today, this is received as either a frightening or a foolish thing for him to do, but nothing else.
I have dated women whome I was friends with, and I have quit being friends with women wo I felt were playing me with the "FRIENDS FIRST " let down. As for using people, I've never allowed anyone to do stuff for me without my doing at least as much in return - in or out of a relationship. The difference between men & women and being friends first is (I know I'm about to generalize big time)...
I always start with friendship but 99% of the time I end up feeling something for the person that they do not feel for me and I am forced to either be their friend and forget those feelings or move on without them in my life. But then again jumping right in the sack with someone doesn't seem to work either. Lets say a guy is at a party, a girl walks in, he looks up and thinks nothing of her.
I do realize there are evil people out there that use other people, I hope that is not the norm. Does "Friends First" work for some one who really, at first, wants a romantic relationship with his friend? You may discover a romantic possibility somewhere down that road, though neither of you is secretly or otherwise hoping for it. If you are looking for a romantic relationship, your intentions should be clear as soon as you know them.